GEODEWORLD.COM

BOZEMAN, MONTANA
JODIE RELLIHAN
Search
  • GEODE

Made to be Experienced



I am made to be experienced,

Not understood.

In the wildest of ways,

I live my life.

Roaming through meadows,

Climbing mountains,

Wandering the desert.

If I am not creating, I am dying.

To be stagnant is my biggest fear.

The disease of stagnancy

Takes hold when

Depression and anxiety become

So heavy that the desire to

Connect, move, and love cease.

In order to live, I must love.

Simple as that.

To live is to wander,

Wonder,

Create, and

Enjoy.

And that is magic.

I am magic.

As are you.


I am a walking conundrum.

I’m silly and serious.

I’m crazy and calm.

I’m passionate and idle.

I’m clingy. I like my space.

I am fascinated but also bored.

I will give you freedom,

But seek reassurance.

Sometimes I am insecure.

Other times, arrogant.

I bite my tongue, I speak my mind.

I listen, I ignore.

I can light up the world, but I can also

Leave it in darkness.

I am flawed yet perfect.

Simply by being born.

What a miraculous gift.

To embody a full spectrum of

Feeling, emotion, and experience.

What a miraculous gift.

To be human.


As the spring comes I find myself

Getting lost in

Daydreams of

Flower fields, sunshine, and

Animals out to play & hunt.

I am at the intersection of

Me and my memories +

Me and my future +

Me and the present.

Ready to let go of things from my past that weren’t really mine to begin with.

Borrowed from the universe,

I release them back.

Space knows what to do with it.

To admire the future without willing it to

Be here sooner or

Worrying it to stay away.

To allow myself to forget about me.

My story.

My achievements, my downfalls.

My accomplishments, my mistakes.

My dreams and goals.

My plans and my ideas.

My defeats and triumphs.

My past and my future.

Goodbye.

I watch them float away on

Butterfly wings.

Light, and easy to let go of.


All those things that I once thought

“Made me me” are really not me at all.

I am not my dreams,

My creations,

My visions.

And yet I am.

If everything was

Stripped away from me...

My possessions, my memories,

My thoughts, and even my senses.

If I was left with no friends or family.

No day and no night.

No time or awareness..

I would still be me.

Because I am all that is.

We are all that is.

And it is all the same, same, same.


Creation flows through me.

It does not begin with me.

I channel vibratory patterns that

Resonate within my body and

Release them through many mediums.


I allow experience to saturate my brain

Like water on a rice paddy field.

The fertile soil planted and ready

With many seeds of ideas.

I welcome the flood.

I welcome the sun.

The water overflows my mind and

Down my spine it goes,

Transmuting into pure feeling and

Soaking my heart with juicy

Deliciousness.

The current is strongest here, and

Makes the most sense,

Despite lack of thought.

To be in the heart is to be in love.

As it fills my abdomen and

Trickles down to my toes,

I delight in the patterns that are

Created within and around

My body and

Giggle at the cleanse of my cells.

The boundless energy pours back

Into The Earth

Through my feet, hands, and

Expression.

I sing.

I dance.

I move.

I speak.

I create.

I love.


Sometimes, though,

Experiences feel like the desert.

They dry out my brain, leaving it

Cracked, caked, and carved out.

The seeds of ideas still there,

Burrowed down deep in the cracks,

Unable to sprout.

During these times

My heart beats slowly.

Sludge built up in all directions,

Viscosity of blood like that of a

Gelatinous syrup whom the

Farmer begs to flow into her buckets,

Despite many years of drought.

The lone maple tree has

Nothing to give her,

But she tries over and over to

Illicit even the

Smallest drop.

Frustrated.

Tired.

Waiting.

Longing.

My heart aches and cries,

But all my tears are buried.

Tender feelings unable to

Escape the body.

Trapped in a state of hunger and thirst,

My heart is aware of its weaknesses.

In that it grows even stronger.

(Despite the despair.)

My abdomen drudges along,

Bored and bothered by

Lack of stimulation.

Closed off to processing and

Digesting my experience.

I can't let it go, can't let it flow.

Leaving me full of shit and faking it.

My limbs grow stiff and tired.

I feel awry and angry.

Dry bitterness the only taste

Left in my mouth.


But alas! The waters flow in again and

I am revived, opened, and cleansed.

I am renewed.

Finally able to release the tears that

Once seemed impossible to find.

I recover swiftly.

My body and mind

Connected once again,

Joined by the river of

Love, breath, and spirit

That now supplies my fertile grounds.

My heart, stronger than ever.

For to rejoice in the rains

I must suffer the drought.

Both are a pertinent part of the

Experience grandeur.


You may wonder, what causes these

Immense changes,

These seasons of perception?

These periods of suffering and

Times of great joy?

What cracks the shell of the egg or

Sparks the fire of the future?

I do not know entirely.


Sometimes, I think, it is simply Nature.

The natural world experiences

Seasons and creates a vast array of

Climates and environments

Accordingly.

The Earth embodies every element and

Is constantly shifting and changing

To adapt.

Why would we be different?

Are we not part of nature,

A piece of the Earth itself?


Perhaps it is simply one’s perspective of

How the events occurring around them

Feel.

After all, I am responsible for

How I perceive and

Contribute to the world,

And thus have the choice to neglect or

Water myself through each wave of

Experience.

I have the power to

Interpret each event as something

That will nourish me.

Even when it seems impossible, or the

Pain is immense,

I am able to let it flow.

In and out.

In this way, the change of mind and

Feeling is best compared to a faucet.

Sometimes, one simply must learn to

Flip the switch and

Let it all in.

Or let it all go.

The valves are in your own mind,

In your own heart.

You have the ability to

Crack open your own shell,

Spark your own fire.

In fact you are the only one who can.


Sometimes another human full of love

Can help to show you the way.

They may stir feelings within that are

Uncomfortable, strange, or new.

Their words may make you

Think, question, or wonder.

Their actions leaving you full of

Curiosity, fascination, or envy.

But it will ALWAYS be you who makes

The decision.

Allows the change.

Turns on the faucet and pours out

All over the world.

Only you can heal you.


Are you ready to release and receive?

You must decide.

The world will honor your decision to

Flow, if you so choose.

To be vulnerable is to be relatable, and

We could all use a little more

Connection.

Nature respects those who share.

Sharing of our waters, suns, and

Seeds of ideas.

Flowing into and

Around each other,

Caressing emotions and bodies.


At times these changes in our

State of being feel drastic, like a

Monsoon in the desert.

Other times, they take years and

Years to develop.

Moving one bit at a time,

Day by day.

Sometimes the flow within is so subtle,

We are not aware of it.

But it is ALWAYS there,

Deep beneath the surface,

Even in the driest of times.

Building, developing, experiencing.


More often than not, there is a

Combination of all that has been

Mentioned above happening

Inside and outside,

All at once.

I change quickly and slowly

At the same time.

I flow freely and build dams,

Simultaneously.

How can this be?

Well, we are often dealing with many

Situations at the same time.

We multitask.

We multi-think.

We multi-feel.

We are capable of interpreting

Infinite layers of reality

Simultaneously.

And that is, in fact, what is happening.

So of course we interpret in a

Juxtapositional fashion.

Wires cross, loops form,

Life gets wonky and strange.

It's a wiggly world out there, and it's

No different inside of you.

But this is how it's supposed to be.

Energy will find a path.

And if there is not a canal open already,

One will be forged eventually.

With or without your permission.


I will say,

Energy flows more easily with

Permission and flows absolutely

Freely when we let go of

Observing it entirely.


Some experiences I must warm up to,

Like a cold, timid beggar

Welcomed to stand near a

Kind stranger’s fire.

Some experiences I must cool down

And step away from,

For they excite me so much I will

Smother them if I am not careful.

And even still,

Some experiences I must become,

For I created them.

I am the fire itself.

A dragon who fears nothing and

Knows exactly how to handle the

Flame through each intricate course that it

May run.


I am wild.

I am free.

I am human.


I am made to be experienced,

Not understood.

I, myself, am an experience in its fullest.

Try to break me down and

Understand all the reasons why.

You will be disappointed.

Try to study me.

You won't graduate.

Look too close and

You'll miss the point.

Life is meant to be lived,

Not analyzed.


Embrace yourself.

Embrace change.

Embrace the world.


Walk with me.



Photos by: Cassidy Bennett